Talking
by greystoni
Summary: Post 6x20-ish. My way of making a little sense of 6x20. Everything up to 6x20 happened. C/O, but some characters included. Focus on therapy.
1. Chapter 1

Owen felt really guilty. The guilt was eating him up alive, so he went to Dr. Wyatt.

Wyatt: I haven't seen you in a while. How have you been?

Owen: I don't know. I don't want to feel anything.

Wyatt: What is it that you are feeling?

Owen: Everything at the same time. I don't know.

Wyatt: You have to name those feelings.

Owen: I love Cristina, but sometimes I am not sure how I feel about Teddy.

Wyatt: Who's Teddy?

Owen: She and I, we served in Iraq together. We were best friends and I had feelings for her. I brought her here to teach Cristina and she told me that she loves me. I told her I love Cristina and Teddy was going to move on, but she didn't.

Wyatt: Sounds complicated.

Owen: It is. I love Cristina, but yesterday I almost kissed Teddy.

Wyatt: Why didn't you?

Owen: Our pagers interrupted. But I don't know if I would have kissed her. And I feel so guilty about that.

Wyatt: Aside from Teddy, how have you been recently?

Owen: I... Teddy, she had this case and I had some flashbacks about Iraq. I haven't been able to sleep ever since and sometimes I don't feel like myself at all. A couple of days ago, Cristina was afraid of me. That's just not me.

Wyatt: Why was she scared of you?

Owen: In surgery, I was harsh on her. I felt like we were in the army, so in the OR I treated her and talked as if we were in the battlefield. I wasn't there in that OR, not really. I made pasta for her, I wanted to apologize and the sausages were burnt. But I lost my temper. When I turned around to apologize, she flinched. She was scared of me. That's when I decided to go back to therapy.

Wyatt: So you just went to therapy because of Cristina? Again?

Owen: Yes. I want to be a better guy for Cristina. She deserves so much better than me and I feel so... guilty. You know, I want to spend the rest of my life with Cristina and I wanted to be fine for her.

Wyatt: You should want to feel alright for yourself, too.

Owen: But I don't deserve any of it. I don't deserve happiness, I don't deserve Cristina. I almost kissed Teddy, for god's sake.

Wyatt: Why did you almost kiss her?

Owen: I don't know.

Wyatt: Ok, then: How did you feel at the time. Aside from the feelings about Teddy, how were YOU?

Owen: I don't know. I kind of felt like in Iraq. Teddy, she was crying and when we were in Iraq, I often comforted Teddy. She cries a lot.

Wyatt: And before, when she cried, did you ever kiss?

Owen: No, of course not. But I was tempted then, too. I thought she didn't like me the way I liked her, so I never tried anything.

Wyatt: You just told me you are sometimes conflicted about your feelings, but you also told me you want to spend the rest of your life with Cristina.

Owen: Yes, that's the problem. I wanted to make everything better for Cristina and for us and I just fucked everything up.

Wyatt: When do you feel conflicted about Teddy?

Owen: When I feel like I am in... Wait a moment, I only have feelings for Teddy when I feel like I am in Iraq.

Wyatt: Yes.

Owen: So I don't really have feelings for Teddy right now.

Wyatt: Yes, but that's not really the point. It's not healthy for you to feel like you are in Iraq. You suppressed and shoved your feelings aside for so long. You need to integrate them. You can't just ignore your experiences in Iraq and how they make you feel. If you do that, those feelings well up and they come back to haunt you.

Owen: You're saying that is what happens? How do I fix it?

Wyatt: You should go back to therapy regularly. And maybe you should bring in Cristina next time.

And Owen: You deserve good things, you deserve people to love you, you deserve to be with the person you love.

Owen: Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

Owen was just leaving Wyatt's office when he spotted Cristina. His talk with Wyatt made him feel a little better, but he still felt guilty and uneasy with the situation. He finally wanted to make it right.

But he also didn't want to hurt Cristina, she was so happy recently and he saw her face lit up when she saw him. He went past her and whispered into her ear: „Vent".

A couple of minutes later, they were meeting on the vent. She was already standing there, he came closer, hugged her and gave her a little peck on the lips. But when she wanted to deepen the kiss, he drew back.

Cristina: What's wrong?

Owen: We need to talk. But not here. I saw Dr. Wyatt today and there's something we need to talk about.

Cristina: You saw Dr. Wyatt? How was it?

Owen: Interesting, very revealing. She wants you to come with me tomorrow. Will you?

Cristina: I don't do therapy.

Owen: But you came with me before.

Cristina: Yes. But that was for sex.

Owen: Please, Cristina. I need you.

Cristina (bringing up one of her hands to cup his face): Ok, whatever. But this time she won't withhold sex, right?

Owen (chuckling): No, don't worry.

Pagers going off.

Cristina: Gotta go. Teddy's paging me. So where do you want to talk to me? In therapy?

Owen: No. I'll think of something for tonight. You're off at 6?

Cristina: Yes.

Cristina is coming out of the stairs, meeting Teddy.

Cristina: Hey, you paged. Interesting case?

Teddy: What?

Cristina: You paged me. Why?

Teddy: Oh right. We have a valve replacement. Room 2213.

Cristina (thinking): I should try to be sensitive, at least a little.

Cristina: Something wrong?

Teddy: Yes. You asked Owen to ask Derek to fire me.

Cristina (dumbfounded): No. I asked him to weigh in for you. You're an amazing teacher and an amazing surgeon. Why would Owen want to get rid of you?

Teddy(crying): I don't know.

Cristina: Are you crying?

Teddy: Yes. I thought Owen was at least my friend. And maybe, once you and him are over, we could have hooked up.

Cristina: That was your fantasy? Just to be clear, you are an amazing teacher and an amazing surgeon, but Owen's mine. We are a couple and we're both in it for the long haul. Accept that and move on, you are pathetic.

Teddy: In it for the long haul? Owen, he almost kissed me the other day.

Cristina: Whatever. Let's get to work.

Later that day, Owen and Cristina met outside of the hospital. They walked in silence towards his blue truck, both lost in thoughts. They got into the truck and started talking lightheartedly, but a little awkward, too:

Cristina: So where are you taking me?

Owen: It's a surprise. You're gonna like it though.

Cristina: Sounds interesting.

Owen: We're almost there.

Cristina: Where?

They were leaving the truck and Cristina saw where he had taken her. It was the westpoint lighthouse. It was a clear night again, so it was somehow reminiscent of their first attempt at dating. Cristina unintentionally smiled.

It was still worm and bright outside and Owen had brought a picnic basket and a blanket to sit on.

They sat down and Owen put their food onto the blanket. He had also brought beer and even wine.

Cristina: So what's the occasion?

Owen: I... I needed to talk to you. But first, I need you to know that I love you.

Cristina: You almost kissed Teddy? It's true?

Owen: Where did you hear that?

Cristina: Teddy told me.

Owen: Damn. I didn't want you to find out like that.

Cristina: So do you love her?

Owen: No. She was so upset over her job and was crying and somehow, it felt like before, like in Iraq. I love you and only you. It's just that ever since Teddy is here, I sometimes feel like I'm still over there.

Cristina: So what? You love me but you feel like kissing Teddy? (tears welling up)

Owen: I didn't want to hurt anyone. I was trying so hard to make everything right and I just made it worse.

Cristina: So what?

Owen: I screwed up. All I know is that I love you and I don't love Teddy and I screwed up big time. Dr. Wyatt said something that is true. Teddy, she's bringing back all those suppressed feelings and memories. And I had feelings for her in Iraq. Those feelings, they just come back when I'm not fine.

Cristina: So what do we do about it?

Owen: I'm gonna go back to therapy Dr. Wyatt said that I have to integrate my old feelings into my new self.

Cristina: So what is she suggesting? A threesome?

Owen (chuckling lightly): That's one of the things I love about you, you always make me laugh.

Cristina: Really?? One of the things?

Owen (getting serious again): Look, I understand it if you don't wanna be with me. I'm messed up and you deserve so much better. But I know that I love you and you are the one for me.

Cristina: I love you, too. And I don't want to break up with you. Avery kissed me.

Owen: What? I'm gonna... When?

Cristina: Right before Teddy came in. The day of Arizona's birthdayparty.

Owen: Why do you tell me now?

Cristina: I just want us to be honest. Teddy told me you told Derek to fire her. Why?

Owen: I didn't tell him to fire her. I just told him to do what is best for the hospital. He has to do what's best for the hospital.

Cristina: That's all?

Owen: I wish it was. But I also wanted to get rid of her. I want to be with you and I want to be ok. I wanted to be fine for you. So I thought, if she leaves, those problems are gone and we can go back to being fine. That would make those feelings and memories go away.

Cristina: I am the queen of suppressed feelings and I know they will always come to haunt you if you don't start addressing them. And Teddy's definitely staying on now.

Owen: I know and I will go to therapy.

Cristina took his hand into her.

Cristina: It's ok. I won't leave you.

Owen: Thank you.

They were smiling at each other now and kissed lightly on the mouth.

Cristina: So let's eat, I'm starving.

Owen (chuckling): Yes, I'm hungry, too. So how was your day?

Cristina: You mean, besides Teddy telling me she was still waiting for us to break up, so you and her can get together? And us almost losing a patient on the table during a simple valve replacement?

Owen: Sounds horrid. I'm sorry you're subjected to Teddy's passive aggressive ways.

Cristina: I'm gonna survive. You know, I'm the strong one. So how was your day?

Owen: After the therapy and our vent-date, it kept getting worse and worse. The pit was swamped with traumas and I lost 4 patients.

Cristina: Sorry about that. You're gonna eat that sandwich?

Owen: No, go ahead. Where do you put all the crap that you're eating anyway?

Cristina: I'm korean. And a jew.

When they were finished eating, they stood up. It was almost dark outside and they were getting ready to stand up. Owen suggested them going into the lighthouse to watch the stars. They were walking towards the truck with their hands intertwined, Owen carrying the basked and Cristina carrying the blanket.


	3. Chapter 3

They put the basket and the blanket in the truck and were walking up to the lighthouse. They went into the lighthouse and up the stairs. When they reached the upper floor, they saw chairs standing there and the amazing outlook you had from there. They sat down and Owen started talking.

Owen: I like the stars. When I was in Iraq, I often watched the stars. After I met you, I imagined being with you and watching the stars together. I want to tell you something about Iraq. Dr. Wyatt said that I should start talking about the trauma. But I don't want to burden you.

Cristina: I told you before, I know my limits.

Owen: Remember Teddy's patient? She triggered something for me. One day in Iraq, during one of my first tours, I had a commanding officer, Dan. He was great. He used to tease me about me and Teddy. (getting a little melancholic) While we were playing soccer, we were called out into the field. We treated a couple of soldiers, but a sandstorm was coming, so we were ordered to move back. Teddy, she hates helicopters, so I offered to go instead of her. She refused, so I was with Dan and a patient in a jeep. We drove onto an IED, except for Dan and me everyone died. He was still alive, but only barely, he had a wound on his neck that was bleeding like crazy. I used my hand to stop him from bleeding out. But I couldn't move him and he wanted me to (choking on his words) let go. (Cristina took his hand into hers) He told me to go for Teddy, it was the last thing he told me. This further confused me, I was thinking that maybe he died to tell me that. It was the last thing on his mind, so how could it not be true? A couple of minutes later, I let go of him. And there was this moment of absolute certainty, of relieve. But then, I don't know how long it took, could have been seconds or hours, the helicopter arrived with Teddy in it. And I kept thinking, what would have happened if I had hold onto him just a little longer. I did kill him. I let go of him and that killed him. Doesn't matter that was what he wanted, doesn't matter that even with surgery his chances of survival were slim. I killed him. He had a girl back home, he really loved her but he didn't want to propose to her until he was home. I robbed him of that opportunity, I robbed him of a life. (tears were now streaming on his face) (quietly:) I killed him

Cristina was hugging him now, she was at a loss for words but instead of fishing for them, she just hugged him closer. They were always good at being silent, maybe because both of them didn't like to talk about their feelings and weren't any good at it.

After a couple of minutes his tears stopped. And when she looked into his face, she knew what to tell him.

Cristina: I love you. I know that you didn't just kill him, and deep down you know that, too. You let go and he died, but you didn't kill him. He died because he couldn't fight anymore, because he didn't want to fight anymore. He died in your arms, but you didn't kill him. (Feelings of her dad dieing were welling up inside her, of how responsible and guilty she felt, of how often she wished that she would have died instead of her dad, but she knew it wasn't the right time to talk about it, so she just continued talking) You're not guilty because you are alive. And Dan, he would have wanted you to have a good life. That's why he told you to go for Teddy. (Memories of her dad telling her to continue studying, to continue trying to overcome her dyslexia so she would have a good life, so she could achieve whatever she wanted to in life were dwelling up in her) He wanted you to be happy. (Tears welled up on both of their faces as Owen realized she wasn't only talking about him and Dan)

They were lying in each other's arms now, just being quiet and listening to the other's heartbeat. Suddenly, Owen looked up and saw the stars, clear and bright, lighting up Cristina's small figure. And her curls, how he loved her curls. Cristina looked up to him and then, following the direction of Owen's eyes, saw the stars. They sat there in silence until Cristina looked at her watch.

Cristina: We should probably get going, I'm on at 6 tomorrow.

Owen: Right.

They were walking in silence towards the truck, both lost in their thoughts and just enjoying the nearness of the other.


	4. Chapter 4

When they arrived home, both were really tired. They went to brush their teeth and straight to bed afterwards. Although both of them usually aren't the biggest cuddlers, this one time they slept with their limbs intertwined. The alarm clock was going off way too soon and it was the first time in weeks that Owen really slept. Instead of his usual nightmares, he had dreams about his future with Cristina, the children he hoped to have with her and the life he was picturing with her. They kissed each other and heard Callie shouting: „ Guys, breakfast will be ready in a couple of minutes." They went to shower and afterwards were walking into the living room together. Callie and Arizona were already there.

Callie: Good Morning!

Arizona (annoyingly cheerful): Good Morning!

Owen: Good Morning, ladies!

Cristina: Coffee!!!

Arizona poured Cristina some coffee, looking at her quizzically. They spent breakfast with Callie and Arizona blabbering, Owen and Cristina were mostly quiet. All of them were on at the same time, so they went to work together. Cristina went to round up the cardio charts, while Owen went to search Teddy. When he saw her, he took her outside, he didn't feel comfortable being in a confined space with him.

Owen: Good morning! We need to talk.

Teddy: Good morning! What's wrong?

Owen: I can't be your friend. Cristina, I love her and she is the person I want to grow old with.

Teddy: Really? The other day, when you almost kissed me, it didn't seem like that.

Owen: You really don't get it. You don't know me anymore. I'm not the same guy you used to know. I almost kissed me because there was a time when I had feelings for you and when I really wanted to kiss you. I almost kissed you not because I love you or because I have feelings for you, but because I have problems. Real problems. That is not an excuse or anything and I'm sorry if I hurt you, but in order for us to be friends again, I need to fix it.

Teddy: Maybe you do love me. You don't have to stay with Yang out of obligation. You don't owe her anything. What does she have that I don't have?

Owen: You are great, Teddy. It's just, when I think about beauty, the first thing that comes to mind is Cristina's face. When I think about happiness, I think about a day spent with Cristina. When I think about what makes me laugh, I think about Cristina's last joke. When I hear a good story, the first thing I want to do is share it with Cristina. When I read about a new, innovative surgery, the first one I want to talk about is Cristina. Seeing Cristina alone makes me happy and a day without Cristina feels uncomplete. I never felt about you that way and I never will. And Teddy, I owe Cristina everything. She is the reason I am still alive.

Teddy: So this is why you asked Derek to get rid of me.

Owen; I didn't ask him to get rid of you, although it would make things a lot easier. I told him to do what is best for the hospital. I gave him advice as his friend. I know that Cristina likes you and I know that you're a good teacher for her, but you shouldn't stay for me. There's no chance of the two of us ever getting together. I will be around Cristina as long as she wants me to be, I don't want to be cruel and I don't want to hurt you, but that's just how I feel.

Teddy started to cry and it hurt Owen to look at her like that, but he knew he can't hug and comfort her, so he walked away.

Teddy was a total mess. On her way in, she met Arizona and Callie. They saw that she was crying and dragged her to an empty on-call room.

Arizona (hugging her): What's wrong?

Teddy: What did Cristina do to Owen?

Arizona: What do you mean?

Teddy: He said, he owed her. What for?

Callie: You didn't hear? He was really messed up when he came back, like scary. And one night, he choked Cristina in his sleep. She didn't walk away, she hugged him. She broke up with him that day and he went to therapy, but Cristina was still there for him after that, as his friend. That was a crazy move.

Arizona: Really? I had no idea. Why did you never tell me?

Callie: You never asked.

Teddy: I don't get those two. Cristina is so cold and ambitious. And Owen is none of those things.

Callie: Cristina, she's not cold, she just seems to be. And you don't know her mother. But they really love each other. Why do you suddenly care so much?

Arizona: Teddy's in love with Owen.

Callie: Seriously? I like you, Teddy. I really do. But Yang is my roommate and my friend, too.

Teddy( stops crying): I guess I just have to let that fantasy go. He was right, he's not the same person. (tears welling up again)

Arizona: You just need to move on. I thought you and Mark?

Teddy: We are, but I still love Owen.

Meanwhile, Cristina went off to search Meredith.

Cristina: Hi! How's it going?

Meredith: Fine. Bailey's letting me scrub in on a whipple. How about you?

Cristina: Pretty good. Owen and I, we talked last night and he went to therapy.

Meredith: That's good. As long as she doesn't start withholding sex again. You're really grumpy when you don't get sex.

Cris: What can I say? My monster needs constant food. (laughing)

Mer: Are you happy?

Cris: What's wrong with you?

Mer: It's just, I don't want you to get hurt again.

Cris: Pain is part of life.

Mer: But things, they don't have to be that difficult.

Cris: Mmh. Maybe they do for us. We're dark and twisty inside, you know.

Mer: Ok, but I will kick his butt, if he hurts you.

Cris: Fair enough. Same goes for McDreamy, I guess. Though you and him have been so married and happy, it's really getting annoying.

Mer: It sucked long enough, don't you think?

Both started laughing. Pagers going off.

Mer: Bye. See you.

Cristina spent the day with Teddy in cardio. Teddy seemed a little off, but Cristina just ignored it. She supposed Owen spoke to her. They had another valve replacement and Teddy decided to let Cristina perform that one on her own. It was a mechanical and went perfectly.

Owen spent the day alternating between the pit and surgery. He had a car crash, 4 injured, but thankfully, all pulled through. Karev and Avery were on his service today and one of the car-crash-victims had some internal injuries, so he decided to let Avery and Karev do the surgery and just observ.

They met after their shift in front of Dr. Wyatt's office and went inside.

Dr Wyatt: Hello, Owen! Cristina, nice to see you. I didn't really expect you to be here.

Cristina: As soon as you're suggesting to withhold sex again, I'm outta here. And no hyper-analizing me.

Owen chuckled.

Dr. Wyatt: So what do you want to talk about?

Owen: Yesterday, I told Cristina about something that happened in Iraq.

Dr. Wyatt: Why did you do that?

Owen: I just felt the need to share it with someone and she deserved to know the truth. I have been triggered by something lately and that was the reason. I also talked to Teddy.

Dr. Wyatt: So how do you feel now?

Owen: Better.

Dr. Wyatt: How did you feel when Owen told you about Iraq, Cristina?

Cristina: Excuse me?

Dr Wyatt: Ok, what did you think when he told you about that incident?

Cristina: It made sense, him being triggered.

Dr. Wyatt: And how do you feel knowing there might always be things that trigger him?

Cristina: I knew that when I said „yes". But it seems to help him, when he talks about it.

Owen: Yes, it does.

Dr. Wyatt: So what about the story he told you, Cristina? What did the story make you feel?

Cristina: Sad for Owen, I guess. Noone should have to endure that.

Owen: It wasn't too much for you to handle? You didn't have nightmares or anything?

Cristina: I don't do nightmares.

Dr. Wyatt: You don't do nightmares? What do you mean? You don't have nightmares?

Cristina: Yeah, whatever. I thought we wanted to talk about Owen.

Dr. Wyatt: Alright. But if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me.

Cristina: I don't do therapy, not for me anyway.

Dr. Wyatt: So what did you tell Teddy, Owen?

Owen: The truth. That I am in love with Cristina and I can't be Teddy's friend right now. I need to feel better before I can start that again.

Dr. Wyatt: And how did she take it?

Owen: She started crying, but I think, she accepted it.

Dr. Wyatt: You know that PTSD never really goes away. You made another step forward, but there might always be things triggering you. You should go to therapy even when you feel alright, because those experiences, they never go away and if you don't talk about them, they will come back to haunt you. Talking to Cristina about it seems to help, too. And if you ever need a safe place to talk to each other, you know, Cristina, you are always welcome, too. I would suggest for you to come in with Owen maybe once a month, because his PTSD affects your life as well as his.

Cristina: In a month then. Bye.

Owen: Thank you, Dr. Wyatt.

Cristina walked out of the room while Owen stayed behind.

Dr. Wyatt: Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?

Owen: Cristina. Do you think she has nightmares?

Dr. Wyatt: I don't know. Do you think she does?

Owen: She sleeps just fine and usually very peaceful. But her answer when you asked her...

Dr. Wyatt: Yes. Cristina, she's very strong and very guarded. Give her time, she might talk to you about those things one day.

Owen: You're probably right. I just don't want her to suffer more than she already has. I'll see you tomorrow then.

Dr. Wyatt: Yes. Tomorrow.

As Owen was walking out, Dr. Wyatt thought about those two, how those two strong, independent, complicated and wounded people had found each other and the comfort of feeling not alone anymore.


	5. Chapter 5

They were walking home in silence, though it did not seem uncomfortable. Cristina was lost in her thoughts and her almost slip-up in therapy and Owen thought about the same thing, but didn't want to ask.

They arrived home to Arizona, Callie, Teddy and Mark playing charades. Everyone greeted: „Hi!"

Callie: Hey guys, you wanna play with us?

Cristina: Seriously, you don't want to play with me.

Callie: I beat you before, remember?

Cristina: Yeah, with Bambi. But that wasn't my fault. Besides, we didn't play charades back then.

Arizona: It's about the game, not about winning.

Cristina (mocking): Sure it is.

Mark: You're a sore loser, Yang.

Cristina: I didn't even play, so how could I have lost? And besides, the whole point of games is that there is a winner, a first place.

Teddy: Winning isn't everything.

Cristina: You want a second best surgeon to operate? No, you want the very best. Second best is mediocre. And to settle for mediocre is frankly a sign of self-loathing and sub-standard work-ethics.

Teddy: There are more important things in life than being the best.

Cristina: Not in surgery though. You're not the best and patients die, patients that could have been saved if you were the best. It's like killing them.

Owen: Mistakes happen. They are how we learn, as surgeons and as people.

Cristina: I know that and even the very best are loosing patients. But loosing a patient because you haven't kept up with the research or because you didn't practice enough is not the same as loosing one through a mistake.

Everyone kept quiet now, because all of them knew that she had a point.

Teddy: But this is just a game, not surgery.

Cristina: Whatever. (to Owen:) You wanna play?

Owen: Not really. Do you?

Cristina: No. How about we go out for dinner?

Owen: Sounds good. Where?

Mark: I'll be right back. I just have to look after Sloan for a moment. She's probably sleeping though.

Phone ringing. Callie answered it.

Callie: Hello. Who is it? - Oh, hello, Mrs. Rubenstein. Yes, she's here. You can talk to her if you want to.

(to Cristina:) Your mother.

Cristina: Hello, mother. What's the occasion?

Mrs. Rubenstein: Can't a mother just call her only daughter to hear how it's going?

Cristina: We don't just talk. So what's up?

Mrs. Rubenstein: Saul and I will be in town this weekend.

Cristina: That's nice for you. Where?

Mrs. Rubenstein. Seattle. We will be meeting you for dinner on friday. And dress appropriately.

Cristina: What the hell? Why are you coming?

Mrs. Rubenstein: I raised you to be polite. What did I ever do to raise such an unpleasant daughter?

Cristina: Whatever. So you'll be staying at a hotel, I presume.

Mrs. Rubenstein: Yes. I'll see you Friday, 8pm then.

Cristina: Bye. (hanging up)

Callie: Your mother is coming to town?

Cristina: Yes. With my stepfather. Something must be up.

Arizona: She's your mother, she's probably just curious about you and would like to see you. She's allowed to come say hi.

Callie: I'm moving to Arizona for that time.

Cristina: You are not. They'll be here an entire weekend. How am I supposed to survive this? And besides, she likes you. Probably more so than me.

Callie: No, your family, your problems. Besides, you have Owen.

Cristina: Owen? Oh my god, I totally forgot.

Teddy: You totally forgot about Owen? He's your boyfriend for god's sake.

Callie: You didn't tell her about Owen?

Owen(simulanteously): You didn't tell her about me?

Cristina: She knows I've been seeing someone. But not who or anything. (to Callie:) I need you to stay here and tell my mother all about you seeing girls now. You like to talk about that, right?

Callie: I'm staying with Arizona:

Cristina (threatening): I took you in, I payed your rent for a couple of months, you owe me.

Callie: Damn. Ok, I'll do it. Just make sure you keep your clothes on this time.

Cristina: That wasn't MY mother.

Callie: Ooh yeah, my mistake. Sorry 'bout that.

Arizona: What are you talking about?

Cristina: Nothing important.

Callie (simultaneously): You know, when....

Cristina (to Callie): Don't even dare. All I'm saying is catfight.

Callie: Right. Doesn't matter.

Owen: So your mother is coming, Cristina?

Cristina: Yes.

Owen: It will be nice to meet her.

Cristina: It won't.

Owen: But I will meet her, right? I mean, you know my mother, so...

Cristina: If that's what you want.

Teddy (to Cristina): You don't like your mother?

Cristina: It's … compicated. Why do you care? (to Owen: You ready to leave yet?

Owen: Sure (to the others:) Bye. Have fun!

They decided to drive to a nice little restaurant 5 minutes ago. When they arrived, they noticed it was quite empty. They took a table near a big window and ordered steak, potatoes, salad and beer.

During dinner they mostly talked about surgery and work. Owen loved how excited Cristina could get when talking about surgery. They paid the bill and left.

In the truck, Cristina was suggesting them to go to his apartment.

Owen: Sure. Why not? We're not on till 12 tomorrow.

Cristina: And you have that great jacuzzi. We can do a lot of things in there.

Owen: You really have a dirty mind.

Cristina: Yes. And you love it.

They were in the jacuzzi, Cristina laying half atop him.

Owen: So you're mother? You're not happy she's coming?

Cristina: I don't really need someone telling me what a big disappointment I am and how she doesn't get what she did wrong to deserve having a daughter like me. Her favorite adjective describing me is unpleasent, followed closely by emotionally stunned.

Owen: I find your company to be very pleasent.

Cristina (stroking his already hard cock): I bet you do.

Although Owen recognized her plot to make them stop talking, he wasn't strong enough to resist temptation. Being so close to her had taken its toll on his body, not to mention the fact that both of them were completely naked. So instead of fighting it, he just let himself get invested into her touch. But soon it wasn't enough for him and he started kissing and touching her everywhere. Since they spent most of their time at her apartement, they had only used his jacuzzi a couple of times. He began touching the insides of her tights and soon was also touching her clit. He felt that touching him had also taken its toll on her, so it didn't take more than a couple of well-placed strokes and some light nibbling on her more sensitive part and he could see and hear her come. He loved it when she was having an orgasm in his arms. That was the one moment she really let her guard down. Instead of waiting for her to calm down, he entered her with one swift thrust. She was on top, so she did most of the moving and he just used one of his hands to steady her, while his mouth and lips were exploring her breasts. He loved them, they weren't big but just the right size and if he ever found the patience and self-control, he would spend hours just touching and kissing them, using his tongue to circle around her nipples. But he could feel, he was close to coming and if Cristina's nails digging into him were any indication, she was close, too. He used one hand to flick across her clit while he left some „birthmarks" on her neck. They had an orgasm together and slowly but surely came back to earth. Both were thinking that they should definitely come to his place more often.

Suddenly, Owen started talking:

Owen: Don't think I didn't notice your plot to divert my attention.

Cristina: I just couldn't control myself anymore. The water is getting cold.

Owen got out of the jacuzzi and lifted Cristina out, too, all the while wrapping her in a towel. They were both tired and satisfied, so he gave her one of his T-shirts and they went to bed.

Owen: We haven't finished our talk. Goodnight.

Cristina (kissing him noisily): Goodnight.


	6. Chapter 6

It was thursday and Cristina was running around in search for Meredith.

Mer: Hi, what's up?

Cristina: My mother is coming.

Mer: I know. You can do that. I did survive meeting Derek's mother, so...

Cristina: I'd take Owen's mother over mine any minute.

Mer: Then, whatever, it's only one weekend.

Cristina: Yeah, you're right. I survived 10 years living under the same roof with her, I can survive one weekend... Mer, she's evil, pure evil.

Mer: Why is she coming anyway?

Cris: What do I know? Probably just to piss me off and make my life miserable, that seems to be her goal in life.

Mer: Do you have common topics, what does she like to talk about?

Cris: Well, there's marriage, gossip and of course decorating. And fashion. I could always talk to her about the cut of our scrubs, right?

Mer (laughing): Maybe not.

Cris: And Owen wants to meet her. And I foolishly agreed.

Mer: Well, if you're serious about him then he has to meet her sometime.

Cris: Not if she died before.

Mer: My mother is dead and even though she was a bad mother, I wish, I could spend one more day with her.

Cris: You can always spend time with my mother. And I also wish to spend more time with your mother, THE Ellis Grey.

Mer: Whatever. Maybe it won't be that bad. Maybe your mother will like Owen.

Cristina: My mother loved Burke.

Mer: Ok, maybe she'll hate him.

Cris: She won't.

Mer: You said your stepfather was coming, too. How come I haven't met him yet?

Cris: He wasn't here yet. Don't know why he's coming anyway.

Alex and Lexie was walking up to them.

Alex: Yang, I heard your mother is coming.

Cris: Where did you hear that?

Alex: Sloan and Callie. So it's true?

Mer: Yes, it is.

Alex: You know why she is coming?

Lexie: She is family, she's allowed to come say „hi".

Everyone looking at her incredulously.

Lexie: I'm sure she's very nice. You must be so happy, you haven't seen her in awhile, right?

Cris: Not long enough. (trying out a fake smile) How do I look?

Mer: Scary.

Alex: There's no need for any of that. She won't look at your face anyway.

Lexie: what? Why?

Alex: Yang just doesn't like keeping her clothes on when mothers are coming.

Cristina: That was NOT my mother. Besides, what do you care? Nothing you've never seen before, right?

Lexie (stuttering): You... you two.... had ... sex?

Alex and Cristina: No. That's just gross.

Alex: It would be like sleeping with my sister.

Pagers going off. There was a massive accident in a factory, with a dozens injured.

The factory had its own nursery, so there were also some hurt children. Arizona was treating them right now and picked Lexie and Alex as her residents.

The others each took a patient, while Owen commanded them. Meredith had a young, pregnant women with some cuts and what looked to be some internal injuries, Avery had a man who had been crushed under part of the machine he was working on and Cristina had a man with an open chest and some open abdominal wounds. Her priority was to stop the bleeding so he would be stable enough for a CT and surgery, but she never had enough hands. So she hung more blood and started with the chest wound, which was bleeding most extensively. It took her a moment to realize something was stuck in his chest and she took it out with her bare hands. It was a piece of metal she couldn't identify just yet. But with the metal as a barrier removed, he began bleeding more extensively.

Cristina: Help, I need help here.

Owen: What do we got?

Cristina: We need to stop the bleeding fast. There's a hole in one of his bigger blood vessels and he's also bleeding internally, I would guess.

Owen: Yes. (working on stopping the bleeding in the abdominal area) Can you clamp the hole?

Cristina: Probably, but it would be just a temporary fix and I need a second set of hands for that.

Owen: Ok, where do you need me?

Cristina: Take a clamp and (removing one hand) give me the clamp. (She uses the clamp to stop the bleeding, but feels there is a tear in his myocard) We need to get him to an OR right now, he has a tear in his myocard. Page Teddy or someone from cardio.

They had stopped the bleeding momentarily but knew that it would just start again. Owen picked Avery to help him repair the internal organs, while Cristina was to assist Teddy repairing the myocard. In the OR, they tried paging Teddy or someone else, but they couldn't reach anyone and the patient was running out of time.

Owen: Did you ever do a myocardio fix before?

Cristina: Not by myself, but I've seen some.

Owen: Can you do it?

Cristina: Yes. I just need someone to assist me.

Owen: Ok, Avery- you got this? Just finish repairing the liver, ok?

Owen began assisting Cristina and it took them about 10 minutes to fix the tear. Then Cristina started sewing the before-clamped hole and within 20 minutes, they were done.

Avery was just finished with the abdominal organs, too and Owen took a look at his work.

Owen: Good work.

Teddy was bursting in.

Teddy: You paged?

Cristina: Yes. Where were you? I repaired the tear in his myocard and sewed the hole in one of his vessels.

Teddy was looking at her handiwork now.

Teddy: Good work. You did that by yourseld?

Cristina: Hunt helped.

Owen: I just assisted, Cristina told me what to do.

Teddy: Alright, you got this. Sew him up. I'm gonna be in the pit.

After scrubbing out, all of them were going back to the pit to see where they were needed. While Owen began a new round of checking on the residents and their patients (they had learned from their mistakes and now residents generally had patients assigned, whom they had to follow up on), while Cris and Avery got themselves assigned to new cases. After a couple of hours, the pit had quieted down a bit, the patients were either in surgery, in the ICU or on the floors.

But since Cristina was on call tonight, she went to sleep in an on-call room. However, she couldn't sleep. For some reason, that first patient had reminded her of her dad and how she had failed back then. Maybe, if she just would have been better and cleverer, she could have saved him just as she saved the patient today. It had been such a great feeling after she had saved the patient, but now it just felt wrong for her to have saved a total stranger when she couldn't even save her own dad.

Sometimes she thought that if she became the best and saved enough people, she could somehow make up for her failure as a child that had only continued after her dad died. She hadn't only failed her dad, but also her mom, who proved that to her with every word. She had tried so hard to be the daughter her mother wanted to have, until, one day, she realized she would never be that person. She resented herself for it, but also saw the truth behind it. So, instead of trying to get her mother's approval, she became the best. She studied so hard, did everything to overcome her dyslexia (which was also what her dad wanted, he used to study with her) and focused her entire life on becoming a cardio god, because she never wanted to feel so helpless again, but also because she wanted to help ensure that as few people as possible have to experience what she did.

She had left the on call-room door open and Owen knew where she was, so when he entered, she wasn't surprised.

Owen: You're not sleeping yet?

Cristina: No, not yet. The pit clear now?

Owen: Almost. The nurses and residents can do the rest, they will page me if they need something else. Did you check on Mr. Ken (their first patient)?

Cristina: I did. He's doing fine, post-op labs were fine.

Owen: Good. You were great in surgery, I didn't know you could do that.

Cristina(smirking): Were you prepared to step in should anything happen?

Owen: I was.

Cristina: You know, you should trust my skills more.

Owen: I know, somehow. But when I'm with you, I always want to protect you from all harm. I know that you are an amazing surgeon, but I also know what you feel like when you did a mistake. You're setting high standards for everyone, but most of all for yourself.

Cristina: I do. Wouldn't be right otherwise, would it?

Owen: No, but sometimes, your standards for yourself are unattainable. And I don't want you to suffer, no matter what. You already suffered enough through my hands.

Cristina(realizing that in fact being with him had brought her more happiness than harm, but not able to express it): You're gonna join me? I'm exhausted.

Owen: Me, too.

With him by her side, she immediately felt more relaxed and was able to put her thoughts to rest. When she thought, he was sleeping, she started expressing those thoughts that she couldn't yet tell him to his face.

Cristina: I love you. No matter what, I'll probably always love you and I wouldn't trade what we have for the world. Falling asleep in your arms and waking up in them again is worth all the suffering, and every obstacle we are facing as a couple makes us stronger. There will be many more obstacles to come, but as long as we have each other, each and every one of them is just life's way of telling us how much it has to suck for us to feel alive.


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning was a quiet one, so Owen made time to go see Dr. Wyatt.

Owen: Hi!

Dr. Wyatt: Hello! How are you today?

Owen: I'm feeling quite well, slept peacefully through the night with Cristina by my side and woke up with her, too. But Cristina doesn't seem to be alright.

Dr. Wyatt: What do you mean?

Owen: She hadn't fallen asleep when I joined her last night, although it was almost an hour after she went to bed and she somehow felt... different. Maybe it's just her mother coming to town, she seemed really uncomfortable.

Dr. Wyatt: Will you be meeting Cristina's mother?

Owen: Yes, I will. I am a little nervous because I don't want to screw up things more.

Dr. Wyatt: Mmh. Is that why you came here?

Owen: Not only. I want to get better, so I decided that I would talk about one traumatic event every day. But I don't want to burden Cristina with everything, so...

Dr. Wyatt: You want daily sessions?

Owen: Maybe 4 or 5 times a week for a while, if that's possible.

Dr. Wyatt: Alright. What do you want to talk about today?

Owen: My best surgery, and my worst. I might have told Cristina about it, but I was drunk at the time, so the details are a little blurry. It was my first blast injury in the field, only weeks after I got to Iraq. The body was mangled, home-made explosive device, a body full of holes, arms and legs hanging on by threads. I tried to stop the bleeders, but I didn't have enough hands, so I used my body to press on him and keep the blood from floating. I laid there for 2 hours on top of him, he never bled out. He made it to the hospital, he made it home. He sent me a letter to thank me and then shot himself. The day I received the letter, I truly realized that I was in Iraq and that I would never be the same. Those things, they changed me and it took me years and many more and much worse experience to truly see what that meant. I knew from that day on that I couldn't go back to being the guy next door, the cocky, idealistic man that I was before. That was when I saw that I could never marry Beth, but I didn't want to hurt her and I always thought it was just because I was in Iraq and that once I had come back, I would be fine.

Dr. Wyatt: You seem more reflected today than ever before.

Owen: I always thought that if I never talked about those things, they would just go away. And I decided to take a cue from Cristina, she always seems so self-reflected, although she doesn't talk either.

Dr. Wyatt: If you had to guess, if you were to tell one traumatic experience every day, how long would it take you to tell all?

Owen: Probably years, although some were worse than others.

Dr. Wyatt: Why do you think did that patient you saved kill himself?

Owen: I don't know. I thought about it for a long time, but I don't know. Maybe he had PTSD, too?

Dr. Wyatt: Do you regret saving him?

Owen: I am a doctor, I save people, I don't leave them there to die. But if he doesn't want to be saved, I don't know. Maybe I could have saved someone else in that time, someone who would have wanted to live.

Dr. Wyatt: You didn't answer me.

Owen: I don't regret it. But sometimes, I have doubts. Maybe I should have had him admitted or followed up on him beyond saving his life. I am a surgeon, but patient care is also part of the job. And I failed. I failed him. He was a kid, maybe 20 years on and it looked like I saved his life, but maybe I just prolonged the torture.

Dr. Wyatt: You know, that's progress.

Owen: What is progress about that?

Dr. Wyatt: You're feeling things, you are angry at yourself for not saving him. You don't try to push your feelings aside anymore, you face them even if they are uncomfortable, that's progress.

Owen's getting paged.

Owen: I gotta go. And thank you.

Dr. Wyatt: Bye. And good luck with Cristina's mother today.

Cristina was completely freaked out. Her mother was coming to town and she had actually agreed on her meeting Owen. And to make matters worse, she was going to stay for the entire weekend. Cristina was actually considering killing her mother or breaking up with Owen (just for the weekend, of course). Owen was walking up to her.

Owen: Hi. How's it going?

Cristina: Great. We have to break up.

Owen: What?

Cristina: It's either that or me killing my mother. And I would hate for you to have to visit me in jail.

Owen: Cristina?

Cristina: Yes?

Owen: I'm gonna meet your mother, we're not going to break up and it will be fine.

Cristina: You don't know her, she is evil, pure evil.

Owen: I will get to know her today though.

Cristina: If I can't come up with a new plan. So how are you?

Owen: Fine. Had a good session with my shrink today. She says I'm making progress.

Cristina: That's good.

Pager going off.

Owen: That's me. Gotta go.

Cristina was leaving the hospital to go home, take a shower, clean up a little and come up with a new plan. However, when Owen got off work, she still hadn't come up with one, so she started to get used to the idea of them meeting. She had actually slept, so she at least didn't have to face her mother tired. Owen went to shower and then cleaned the apartment. Cristina thought how her mother was going to be shocked by the clean apartment, but didn't say anything.

As usual, her mother and stepfather were right on time, so they arrived at 8pm sharp. Cristina had donned one of her more stunning dress, a red velvet one that looked hot and sexy, without looking slutty. Her mother would probably hate it anyway, but Owen was stunned. Of course, he was also stunningly handsome in his tux that was cut so it would show of the bulk of his muscles and legs.

Her mother rang the bell and Cristina opened, greeting her mother with a fake-hug and Saul with a handshake. Owen stepped in front and introduced himself.

Her mother took one look around, stating:

It doesn't look like you, it is way too clean.

Cristina was already very short of blowing after that little statement, but Owen stepped in.

Owen: I was in the army for years, I'm used to keeping things tidy.

Helen: I presume you are my daughter's boyfriend. Do you live here? I thought some other doctor was living here, too,

Owen: That's true. I don't actually live here, but spend most of my time here. Callie, Cristina's roommate is at the hospital.

Helen: I suppose you are a doctor, too.

Owen: I am. Trauma surgeon.

Helen: You're handsome and you seem nice. What's wrong with you?

Owen: Excuse me.

Helen: Well, you are with my emotionally stunned daughter. So there has to be something wrong with you. Wouldn't like the wedding fiasko to be repeated, now would we?

Cristina: Mother!!! Stop talking.

Helen: I'm just looking out for you. He's way too good for you.

Cristina: Let's just go. Where are we going for dinner?

Owen was quite stunned by what her mother had just said and knew he was in it for a long evening. Although they had sometimes talked about her upbringing, she had mainly talked about the basics, like her family's wealth, religion, the schools she attended. Knowing her mother certainly made the puzzle that seemed to be the women he loved more transparent.


	8. Chapter 8

Cristina's mother insisted on them riding with Helen and Saul in the sedan car. In there, she talked about the new decoration of her house. Owen felt Cristina being really tense beside him, so he put a hand on her thigh. Of course, this didn't go unnoticed by Helen, but she chose not to comment on it for the moment. She thought, now might be a good moment to further question Owen.

Helen: You mentioned you were in the army. Where were you exactly?

Owen: I was in Iraq.

Saul: Ooh. As a surgeon?

Owen: Yes.

Saul saw Owen didn't seem comfortable talking about the army, so he changed the topic.

Saul: You mentioned you're a trauma surgeon. Why did you decide to go into trauma?

Owen: I wanted to help as many people as I could. In trauma, it is quick and dirty, but you treat many more patients in less time than in other specialties.

Helen: I heard my daughter is pursuing cardio. Is that true?

Cristina: It is.

Helen: Still? I thought after Preston...

Cristina (cutting in): It's not like I wanted to be a cardio surgeon because of him.

Helen: Really? You know, you don't have to work at all. You have enough money and I'm sure Owen wouldn't mind.

This was the final straw for Cristina, but before she could say anything, Owen interfered.

Owen: I would mind a lot actually. I want her to pursue her dream. And with the hours we're working it's nice to have her working at the same place.

Helen: But you sure have enough money to support a family?

Owen: I do. But we don't think about a family yet.

They were arriving at the most expensive restaurant of Seattle and were being accompanied to a table by a waiter.

Waiter: Would you like me to bring the menu?

Saul: Yes please.

Waiter: Should I send the sommelier over, too?

Saul: Yes, please.

Helen: (to Owen) I presume you have been here before?

Owen: No, I actually haven't.

Helen (to Cristina): What about you?

Cristina: Me neither.

The waiter came back, accompanied by the sommelier.

Cristina: I'd like to have a Bordeaux.

Owen: Me, too.

Helen: We'll take a chardonnay.

Waiter: Did you already decide what to eat?

Cristina: A steak.

Owen: Yeah, me too.

Helen(disapproving): Really? How about some chicken for you, Cristina? You know, chicken is way low-fat.

Cristina(muttering): It's a wonder I didn't get anorexic.

Owen laughing.

Helen: What did you say?

Owen: Nothing. Your daughter doesn't need to lose weight.

Helen: Maybe not now, but if she doesn't start taking care now...

Waiter: So what would you like as a side dish?

Cristina: Baked potatoe and salad, please.

Owen: Sounds great.

Saul: I'll have the lobster.

Helen: I'll just have some salad with chicken breast, please.

Waiter and sommelier leave.

Helen: So we were talking about a familiy. I take it you know that my daughter doesn't want to have children?

Owen: Yes.

Helen: It's probably for the best. She would be a bad mother anyway. But it's not like parents can actually influence their children, because if we could, I am sure Cristina wouldn't have turned out the way she did.

Cristina: Mother...

Owen: I think your daughter turned out great.

Helen: She's emotionally stunned and unpleasant. Also she is too competitive and doesn't care about her physical appearance at all. And she doesn't like people. She never had friends as a kid. I threw her a party when she was 10 and invited all her classmates, but after a couple of minutes she just left and I didn't find her until the party was over. That was so embarrassing to me. She only knew these kids for a couple of months, but afterwards of course noone wanted to play with her anymore.

Saul: Maybe we should have talked to her about having that party beforehand.

Helen: Nonsense. Every kid likes parties.

Cristina: Mother.. That's way too much information.

Helen: It's not. He needs to know what he's getting himself into beforehand. We don't want a repeat to that whole Burke-fiasko. I was so humiliated.

Owen: I am sure it was worse for Cristina than for you.

Helen: Of course not. She doesn't care about things like that, you know. All she cares about is her studies. I even had to make her go to her highschool prom.

Saul: Why don't we talk about something nice? (to Owen:) Did you know that Cristina graduated first from Stanford?

Owen: I did. She's really smart.

Helen: Yeah, except for her dyslexia.

Saul: She studied so hard to overcome it.

Owen(mouthing to Cristina): You're dyslexic?

Helen: She was a really bad student when she was small. I always told her to study more so she would get better, but she didn't for a long while. And then her dyslexia was diagnosed. She didn't live with us back then, however. She lived with my ex-husband, he was too nice and soft towards her.

Cristina: No, he wasn't.

Helen: He let you do whatever you wanted and never chastised you.

Cristina: That's not true. He was great and you know that.

Saul: Arguing about it is to no use.

Helen: If you had lived with us for your entire life, I am sure you would have turned out very different.

Cristina (under her breath): Yes, in jail. For killing you.

Helen: Did you say something?

Cristina: No, I didn't. Will you excuse me please? I've gotta go to the restroom.

When Cristina was gone, Helen continued.

Helen: You know, she wasn't always that bad. Just since her father died, but it's not like she was actually alone after that. I mean, we did take her in after we came back from our vacation.

Owen: Vacation?

Helen: Yes, when her dad died, we were on a vacation. We came back about two weeks after and of course immediately took her in.

Owen: Where was she staying inbetween?

Saul: She was in the foster care system for that time.

Helen: But it's not like she was there for long. We were even back in time for her to make that statement.

Owen: What statement?

Helen: She had to make a statement to the police about that accident. Tell them what exactly happened and how her dad died.

Saul: We were only there for that because she didn't talk at all until that. She told them that it was all her fault, but it wasn't.

Cristina was coming back and with her arrived the waiter who brought the food. The rest of the dinner was spent in silence and with some chit-chat. Saul paid the bill (although Owen argued with him about it) and Saul and Helen were dropping Cristina and Owen off at Cristina's place and Owen thought about how bad it must have been for her back then. And how it was a miracle how great she actually turned out despite all of that. He wasn't sure if she wanted to talk about that and didn't want to pressure her, but he would be talking about what he had heard to Dr. Wyatt.

They were going to bed, both being exhausted.

Cristina: I'm sorry.

Owen: What for?

Cristina: My mother.

Owen: Don't be. You alright?

Cristina: Not really. I don't like it when she's so close. At least she and Saul will be too busy tomorrow to meet us until in the afternoon. When are you on?

Owen: At 5. What about you?

Cristina: Me, too.

They kissed and said good night. Cristina spent the night trying not to fall asleep because she thought she might have a nightmare. She didn't have them often anymore, not at all, because she worked so hard to get rid of them, but sometimes, she just knew she would have them if she slept, so she didn't. She watched Owen sleep and loved how peaceful he slept ever since he started going to therapy again. She wanted to talk to him, but she never told anyone about her dad and she didn't know how to, so she actually considered going to therapy with him again.


	9. Chapter 9

It was Saturday, but Dr. Wyatt worked nonetheless, so Owen went to therapy.

Dr. Wyatt: Hello, I didn't expect you to come today. You alright?

Owen: I am not sure. I heard a lot of new things about Cristina yesterday and I just wanted to hit her mother really hard. Did you know that Cristina was dyslexic?

Dr. Wyatt: I had no idea. Is that important?

Owen: She graduated first in Stanford and had straight A's all through college. It must have been really hard.

Dr. Wyatt: Did you talk to Cristina about it?

Owen: Not yet. The evening with her mother was really exhausting for her, too. All Helen did was criticize her. My mother, she always supported me, I thought she would look at me like I'm not there, but she doesn't. She told me that no matter what, I would always be her son and she'd always love me. I don't think Cristina's mother ever said something like that.

Dr. Wyatt: Possible. You came here to talk about Cristina?

Owen: Kind of. I just can't tell any of my friends, because Cristina wouldn't want that.

Dr. Wyatt: Did you try talking to Cristina?

Owen: How do I go about doing that?

Suddenly they heard a knock on the door.

Dr. Wyatt: Come in.

Cristina: Hi! Sheppard told me you'd be here.

Owen: Yeah, come in. We were just talking about you.

Cristina: Really? What's there to talk about?

Dr. Wyatt: We just talked about your mother.

Cristina: Ooh, fun.

Dr. Wyatt: Why don't you join us?

Owen: Yes, come on, Cristina.

Cristina: Mmh. (to Dr. Wyatt:) But no shrinking me.

Owen: When you were at the restroom, your mother mentioned that after your dad died, you were in the foster care system.

Cristina: Just for a couple of weeks. They just didn't want to shorten their vacation and it's not like I had to be there for long.

Owen: So they knew? And decided not to come back?

Cristina: Yes, of course. She was after all my closest living relative.

Dr. Wyatt: Were you mad at them?

Cristina: Why should I? It was their vacation and they never wanted to have a child. Saul didn't want one, I don't know why. I was actually surprised when they took me in.

Owen: But she's your mother.

Cristina: I know. But it's not like I was an easy kid. I didn't even talk for a time.

Dr. Wyatt: Really? Why?

Cristina: I just didn't feel like it. It's not like that matters anyhow. I started talking again and my grades improved drastically.

Owen: Why did they improve?

Cristina: I studied more. My dad used to do a lot of cool stuff with me, I did study with him and got a counselor for my dyslexia not long before he died, but he always said that there are more important things than only studying. I promised dad when he died that I would be good and study hard, so I did. Besides, it's not like my mother or Saul spent time with me, so I had lots of freetime.

Although Cristina had said all of that in a cold, clinical, detached way, her eyes and face gave away all the pain she must have suffered as a child.

Pagers were going off and they saw it was the pit.

Cristina: Gotta go. (to Owen:) You coming?

Owen: Be right there.

Cristina: Ok, bye.

Owen: (to Dr. Wyatt: ) I guess we'll see each other on Monday.

Dr. Wyatt: Yes. How is your PTSD?

Owen: Pretty good, haven't been triggered by anything lately, but I don't want it to become as bad as it was before. So I'll continue therapy for now.

Dr. Wyatt: That's good. You know, going to therapy is not being weak, it's being strong for the ones you love and for yourself. Getting help when you need it is no admission of weakness, it's an admission of strength not many people possess.

Owen: I'll try to remember that. And thanks.

Dr. Wyatt: You're very welcome.


End file.
